.I am a child of the King.

Sometimes
no matter what you do
things will never change
people
will
never
change
things always
end up the same
day after
day

10-28-2008

So I have been doing allot of thinking here lately and I think that I am finally starting to see things clearly now, well at least MORE clearly then I was before. Certain things seem to be falling into place and I feel better about things, and myself. Now all that I need to do is buckle down and get stuff done, which with some hard work and prayer I will be able to do.


Thank you God, for everything. Thank you for the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the easy times and the times when I just wanted to throw in the towel. Thank you for making me as strong as I am. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me in YOUR image, you know God that really blows my mind…I am in YOUR image. You’re amazing. I love you with all that I am. Thank you for my lunch with David today, thank you God for his wisdom and his friendship. Last but not least…Thank you for bringing me here to RBC and for letting me meet all these awesome people.


Goodnight.<3

Saved by Grace

I raise my left hand I sing out to thee,
Oh Lord, my God please do not forsake me
in these times of hardship.
Hold my hand even tighter,
give me strength and courage like never before
be my light in all of this darkness
and let me not be afraid.
Wipe every tear from my swollen eyes,
comfort me,
and I will tell of how you saved me from hell.
I will scream to the world of your
everlasting,
unfailing,
abundant,
love,
mercy,
and
grace.
I will tell the story of how you changed my heart to all the world
Without an ounce of shame.
Just please Lord, oh please Lord,
pick me up from the ground,
then give my strength to stand on my own two feet
and I will praise You;
for all eternity I will lift up Your name on high
and only Your name.
Just please be next to me.

When will it be my turn?

The same light.

I’m so scared of what is to come.
I can feel myself growing closer to you
and as much as I want to stop it, I just
can’t.
And it is so hard on me.
It weights me down,
because I know that you
don’t
feel the way I feel.
And it pains me to hear
you say things about
other
girls. Because I know that,
I can’t measure up to
how beautiful they are.
Insecurities,
I’m filled with them;
they eat away at me.
I so unbelievably, terribly,
desperately,
want you to see me
in the same light that I see
you.

Jeremy Stephen Powers 3.5.88-6.29.08

It is so amazing how fast your world can be turned upside down. How losing one person that you never even considered losing before can be gone in a flash. And how losing that person can change you forever.

Jeremy baby, you meant the world to me. You were one of very few TRUE friends that I have and I only wish that I had the chance to tell you that to your face. I miss you pushing my leg down when you though I was driving too slow, when I was just doing the speed limt. I miss picking you up from work. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. Most of all though, I miss your hugs. You really did give some of the best hugs ever, your arms would wrap around me so tight….like you wanted me wanted closer then anyone else in that moment. I can barely remember your smell. I’ll never forget you, ever. I never realized it until I lost you but you changed my life. I know that I will see you again one day but until that day please watch over me and everyone else. I know you wouldn’t want me being all sad and crying all the time over you but I just can’t help it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you that night, even if there wasn’t anything I could do to stop you from leaving….if I was there I would have been laying in the bed with you so you wouldn’t have to be alone when you went home. I love you hunnie. I know you love me to.

Rest In Peace.

And go big, cause you’re already home.<3

Sweet, Bitter

The scent on your sweat shirt is slowly fading
along with the taste on your lips.
In the beginning of all of this
they were sweet;
like no one else’s have ever been.
Now I fear that the taste your lips leave upon mine
is a bitter one,
a harsh one.
None the less it’s still the taste that I crave.
Your hips are still the ones,
the only ones,
that I want to feel on mine.
And even though I’m sure this is all going to go up in flames
I’m still willing to light the match
and set it ablaze.

“In the night, in the dark”

In the night, in the dark
I can hear my thoughts.

Oh how I hate the silence,
for it gives me room to breathe.

And I, I would rather suffocate.